A strap-on harness lets you pleasure your partner with a dildo without having to use your hands—as if it was your own cock, letting them feel your thrusts and every movement. Bringing a strap-on into the bedroom can be intimidating, but it needn’t be.

Enjoyed by both gay and straight couples, a strap-on allows you to mix up your usual play style with some role reversal, so your partner can experience the pleasure of penetration. It can also be used in power exchange BDSM play.

For males, the prostate is located in the anus, so using a strap-on (called “pegging”) can unlock new levels of pleasure not experienced before. Enjoying anal stimulation doesn’t make you gay.

Although a strap-on is designed to pleasure the one being penetrated more than the harness wearer, opt for a vibrating strap-on to allow the wearer physical sensations, too. If your harness doesn’t include vibrating features, you can always add your own by inserting an egg vibrator before securing the harness. Some harnesses include a small buttplug for the wearer, while others include an inflatable dildo to give your partner an added stretch as you thrust into them.